Back in the Saddle Again (or...Once More, with Feeling)

"I've had it. Pressure turns coal into diamonds? Well, the self-imposed pressure that I'm feeling right now is enough to form a diamond encrusted sword with which I will slay this wretched, soul sucking beast of debt. The Dragon will Die; I'm going to kill it, I'm going to eat it's heart and I'm going to mount it's head on my freakin' wall.The beast will die completely and finally on December 31st, 2008. There - I've set the goal. Does it sounds ridiculous? Absurd? The Impossible Dream? Yeahhhhh....so what. JFK asked the scientist who would later be responsible for the space program what it would take to put a man on the moon. The scientist said, "The Will to Do It." This debt is taking away my financial future, my financial present, my social life, my time with my kids, their financial future - think about all that on a daily basis and see if you don't find the damned will to do just about anything."

Wow....I got chills just reading that, didn't you? Okay, okay - maybe it was just a bug on my neck. But in any case, the words are somewhat inspiring - at least I felt that they were when I wrote them on August 11th, 2007. Problem is, it didn't take. 12/31/08 came and went with the Debt Beast still eating comfortably, having flicked away with its yellowed scraggly claw the tiny peon frantically waving his shiny little stick in the Beast's general direction.

Said peon would, of course, be me. And, while the ideological side of me reads those words and gets re-invigorated, the jaded side of me that's drudged through the last year and a half since that was written reads it again and says..."what a yutz".

I'm no further ahead then when I started this blog, and that's depressing. So what went wrong? Well first off, I didn't work as hard or as smart as I could have or should have. So I'm changing that. I'm raising my rates on jobs so that I actually (gasp!) see a profit when all is said and done. If a client changes their minds about something, a change order will be signed and the price will increase. All jobs will be put in writing and nothing that is not on the page will be done without a change order and more money. Now, this is nothing new - contractors have been doing this for ages, but Debt Daddy has not. I made the mistake of getting too friendly with my clients as well as not valuing myself or my work as it should be valued. That ends this year. To paraphrase, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it - people are gonna pay me for it".

What else went wrong? Underestimating my opponent. When I first got into this whole "slay the credit card beast" rigamarole, I imagined myself as Rocky in the first movie - the underdog going up against the Champ, Apollo Creed. I think I may have been able to win that one, or at least come out of it with a split decision. But debt comes in many forms, and it comes at you from several different directions at once and, before I knew it, I wasn't just fighting Apollo Creed, but Clubber Lang, Ivan Drago, and Tommy Gunn as well - and that was not a fight I was prepared for. I had prepared for a battle - I need to prepare for a war.

Another thing that sabatoged me - thinking that I could do it all on my own. Debt Daddy has always been of the mind that he didn't really need anyone else's help with anything, and admitting that he did was somehow a sign of weakness. Well, I'm trying to get over that feeling now, and make use of the resources around me. I have great friends that are offering advice and support as far as my business goes, and I'm taking it. I'm making an appointment with a financial counselor to sit down with my wife and I to examine our options (interestingly, this particular financial consulting company makes it a rule that they must speak with both spouses - not just one - to make sure that both parties are on board with debt elimination - I thought that was great); I'm even involving my wife more with my business. Turns out Debt Mommy has a gift for determining the true dollar value of my work. So far the quotes she's suggested, while being up to 30% higher than quotes I would have given, have been easily accepted by my clients, so I'm gonna keep running the jobs past her first. She's a keeper, she is.

I guess it's kind of like building a house. You can't build a house using only your hammer. You have to use many different tools, all working together to get the house built right. I'll beat this beast yet, but I can't do it overnight and I can't do it alone. It'll take time, it'll take help, it'll take perseverence and sweat, brains and guts, courage and tenacity....

It'll take every tool in the toolbox.

Debt Daddy's Better Half

So I know you've all been wondering - Is Debt Daddy taken? Could such a prime example of fiscal mismanagement and poor grooming still be on the market? Still looking for his special someone?

Well, sorry to disappoint, but yes Virginia - there is a Debt Mommy, and she's quite the special bit of something, she is. Stunningly beautiful and amazingly intelligent, this wonderful woman gets all my jokes, still loves me despite my myriad foibles, and manages to keep all the Debt Family trains running on time. And while fabulous wife, excellent mother and helluva homemaker were all quite worthy accomplishments, she has just done something that tops them all, putting the veritable cherry on the Debt Mommy Sundae -

She lost her job!

Isn't that Great!!

Uh-oh, Debt Daddy's gone and lost his mind (which we should've realized was already starting to happen when he claimed that the cancelling of HBO's acclaimed hit, "John From Cincinnati" was part of a vast right wing conspiracy). He's finally snapped - doesn't know up from down, good thing from bad thing, great from awful...the poor, pathetic creature.

Yes, I know - I sound crazy, but hear me out (and don't get me started on "John from Cincinnati"). My wife has worked for (names changed, identities protected, yada, yada - you know the drill) Spastic Colon, Inc. for many years and, despite her stellar performance, has never been fully appreciated for the superstar that she is. When Spastic Colon, Inc. announced that they would be moving Debt Mommy's job to outer Fubarstan, Debt Mommy hit the ground running and set a new standard for the term "proactive".

She searched for jobs online at all hours. She interviewed like a mad woman. Like a non-union NYC actor with no survival job and a loft rental to pay for, she did not stop "auditioning" until she got "cast in a new show". And, before you could say "beans and rice, rice and beans", my beautiful, dutiful bride had not only found a new job, but one at more money, with better benefits, and with a company that actually seems to realize and acknowledge what a talent she truly is.

Debt Mommy will be soon be working for Totally Awesome! Enterprises and, while I can't go into specific details, let's just say that the financial benefits, both from the old company and the new, are going to accelerate our debt payoff in a way which simply would not have been possible if things had remained as they were.

Early on in this blog, I had mentioned my search for the metaphorical "debt snowplow" to dig us out of the financial embankment in which we were buried. Who could have known that it would be my wife, Debt Mommy herself, bringing it to me, secured to the top of her minivan, wrapped in a huge red bow (and just in time for my birthday!).

So now, if you will, please join me in a round of applause for the gal who's my pal, the girl who rocks my world, the mom with aplomb, my wife for life - you know her, you love her - and doesn't she just look fabulous on that white horse with the cavalry riding behind her? - Give it up for the one, the only - - Debt Mommy!!

You rock, babe. :)