My Drag Name? Ann O. Nymity

I think Drag Queens are great.

I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about, but for those who don't, drag queens are female impersonators - male performers that present the illusion of being female onstage, usually in a larger than life way (think RuPaul's friends - RuPaul herself is no longer a drag queen in my opinion - she has now attained "Icon" status).

Why do I think they're great? I couldn't really tell you - it's just a fascination. As a former actor myself, I know how much work goes into preparing for a role, but most roles that an actor might play are at least based on his current or "active" gender. FI's (female impersonators) don't have that as a foundation on which to build. They must construct their characters, their physical forms, their presentation from the ground up - and that takes work. And then of course, they need a name.

Here's how non-performers (people not of the stage) pick a drag name - you take the name of your first pet growing up as your first name, and the name of the street where you first lived as your last name which, in my case would make me "Dutchess Harrison". That ain't half bad as a drag name. My friend "Scruffy 23rd Street" didn't fare so well. As I said, this is the non-performer, fun little cocktail party way of coming up with a drag name.

Real performers, people who actually do perform as drag queens - well, they go about it a completely different way. Their names by and large are a turn of a phrase, usually telling and almost always funny. Dusty Britches, Charity Case, Candy Cayne, Summer Luvvin, Anita Mann, Amanda Love - this is just a small sampling of drag monikers that you might hear being announced at many bars and clubs across the country.

Using this method, I would name myself Ann O. Nymity. Or perhaps her dear next door neighbor Ann Onymous. Either way, you get the point. You don't know me; I could be anyone. I could be your neighbor, your gas man, your son's fifth grade music teacher - you just don't know.

At first, that was cool. I really enjoyed creating the Debt Daddy alter ego - that mythic man of mystery who's shower is only a passing acquaintance - but then I got to thinking; why do I need a "secret identity"? Most of my friends don't even know that this blog exists, and I find myself biting my tongue sometimes not to tell them. Why? The obvious reason, of course, is that I'm more than a little embarrassed by my fiscal mis-management, as I'm sure some other debt bloggers are. We messed up somewhere along the line, didn't get a handle on it, and let things spin out of control. Now we hang our heads in shame, not just because we're not the millionaires that our younger selves knew we would be by this age, but also because we're so far behind that it seems like we my never be. We knew when we were young that the term "working poor" would never come close to describing us and yet, here we sit, blogging in secrecy about it.

The thing is, I really don't think we're the minority here. I think there are a lot more people in the same boat that are also too embarrassed to talk openly about it, and so don't. We are the silent majority.

I think it's about time we got loud. I think it's time for us to come out of the closet. Not because we're proud of our debt, but because there is strength in numbers. We need to talk openly with our friends and neighbors about debt and see if they have thoughts or ideas on dealing with it that hadn't occurred to us, and share our ideas with them. We need to write Congress and Captain Veto often and insist that they pass legislation that might actually benefit us during this time of financial difficulty. We need to call our credit card companies on a regular basis and consistently request lower interest rates, perhaps by threatening default. And we have to urge as many people as we can to do the same. We need to be out and proud, not about the debt we incurred, but about the positive steps we are taking to make things better.

Having said that, I guess it's only fair that I tell you who I really am. It's time to unveil the identity of the man with the enormous debt that struggles each and every day to keep his financial boat afloat. So, who am I?

I am your neighbor.

I am your gas man.

I am your son's fifth grade music teacher.

I am a drag queen.

I am the majority. And so are you.

Tell a friend.

A Snowball's Chance in Hell - Part 1

No one wants to buy my stuff.

I'm not sure why. I mean, it's great stuff - that's what they told me when I bought it anyway, which is why I have a house full of it. But I'm trying to turn over a new leaf - I'm trying to proclaim my status as a "Survivor of Stuffitis" and find good homes for all my stuff (heck, even marginal homes - what you do with that salad shooter after you buy it is no business of mine).

And yet, despite numerous garage sales at various locations, listings on craigslist, amazon.com and e-bay, a great deal of this crap simply refuses to get out of Dodge.

The upshot of this (if you can call it that) is that I now have an extreme aversion to the idea of More Stuff. I may have taken this to the extreme in some cases - for instance, I regularly return nearly all my birthday, christmas and father's day gifts to get the cash to pay off my debt. In those rare cases when the store will only give me store credit, I get that in gift cards which I then save to give to other people at christmas. So when you give me a gift, you can be pretty sure that it truly will be "the gift that keeps on giving".

I'll return or sell anything that isn't nailed down or breathing, and yet my tiny little debt snowball just can't seem to get itself rolling.

Anyone else experiencing snowball stall?

Debt Daddy initiates contact with the Blog People

Hey. I’m Debt Daddy. I actually think I qualify as King of Debt, but there’s someone else with that name already and I’m not about stepping on toes. Yet…I’ve seen his debt numbers, and I’ve gotta say he’s like the Duke of Debt next to me and my big old hairy beast of burden. Wait, I’m looking again….make that Squire of debt.

Believe me, if you saw my debt figures, you would proclaim me undisputed King in a heartbeat (I’m not going to share my numbers at this juncture - after all, we’ve only just met), but that’s really not the point, is it? I’m not here to be the biggest or the baddest (or the Stupidest, I guess, for having so much darned debt) - what I am here for is to figure a way out of it and I’m guessing that you are too if you’re reading this (then again, maybe you’re here because you find Dads in debt incredibly sexy, and who am I to disagree with you? A guy with kids, crushing debt…what’s not to love? Hell, just make me morbidly obese and driving a ‘78 Nova and I’d be nearly perfect.)

So, if you’re in debt too, what’s working for you? To get out I mean - heck, I know a million ways to get INTO debt! I don’t need help with that! Geez. Wait. Sorry…before I ask you what’s working, let me just clue you in on the things that I refuse to do to get out of debt:

Debt Consolidation

Debt Counseling

Selling my primary residence (unless you have a lovely free house that you’re not currently using, perhaps on the beach?)

Selling my car

Aside from that, I’m pretty open. I’ve stopped using the credit cards (I have many, and they’ve all been misbehaving terribly lately, so I’ve locked them in a small, dark place until they can learn some freaking respect) and I’m trying to maximize income while minimizing unnecessary expenses. I’ve become my father when it comes to turning out lights around the house, we don’t eat out, we get videos from the library instead of Netflix, I’ve tried to minimize the frequency and length of my showers (I know - you’re hot for me all over again, aren’t you - I just keep getting sexier and sexier, don’t I?) - in short, I’m funnelling every available cent to the credit cards and yet, it seems to be making only the smallest of dents in my debt reduction.

So, I’m trying to think outside the box. Finding Dave Ramsey was a Godsend, but I need more. Debt snowball - cool. Debt Snow Plow is what I hope to find.

Anyone know where i can find a plow? Let me know.