Debt Daddy on the Edge

Don'tcha just love the mail?

The school tax bill came - all $8,265.00 of it.

Can you say "Ouch"? C'mon, say it with me now - Ouch! Come on; louder! With feeling! (like if part of you just got caught in your zipper - you fella's out there know what I'm talking about)

OUCH!!!!!!

I actually got this bill last week, but it took me this long to be able to talk about it without falling into The Pit Of Despair. I used to suffer from some pretty severe depression, but have found over the past few years that laughter honestly is good medicine (not the best medicine, as many have been led to believe - that would, of course be tequila, but I can't afford that at the moment). So, I've gotten to the point now where I can laugh about this a bit - it's a kind of maniacal laugh - more of a hilarious cackle really, and I think it scares my wife a little, but it's a start.

So, I've gotta scramble..again. I did the numbers when I got the bill and determined that, if I made $200 every single day for the next 26 days (bill is due at the end of September), combined that with my wife's salary and applied that entire amount to the current bills and the tax bill, I would only be $2,000 short. I just ran the numbers again and, to break even, I need to make $500 every day for the next 18 days. (Insert maniacal laughter here)

So, re-think. Re-scramble. Lather, Rinse, Re-peat. And try to dismiss Gene Wilder's voice in my head mumbling, "Now Way Out, No Way Out, No Way Out".

That's probably the most frustrating part of this entire process - I know that there is a way out - I know with the utmost certainty that there is a way by which I can get all this paid off and put this debt behind me - I just haven't figured out what that is yet.

Still, I know that it's there. The Answer. At the moment, it's much like a huge, scattered jigsaw puzzle in my mind, with only the beginnings of an edge completed, but I know that it can be completed and the picture will be clear. There is a solution for every problem, an answer for every question - there is always a way out. I truly believe this. It just requires careful thought and deliberate action, both of which are hard to muster when you have a huge dungheap of debt hanging by a thread directly above you.

A good dose of divine inspiration is also quite helpful to the process, and that's where y'all come in, if you would be so kind. What's the craziest thing you ever did to make money? The most bizarre job you've ever had? The biggest risk you've ever taken that turned out to be profitable? The oddest way to stretch a dollar? Whatever you've got, I'd love to hear it. Sometimes, all it takes is seeing things from a different angle to push me through a mental block and man - I could sure use a push right now.

Please leave some comments on this. I haven't been around blogland long, but it seems to me that good blogs are like good sex - it's always much better when there's more than one person participating. With your help, we could turn this into an absolute blog orgy.

C'mon...join me...it'll be blogeriffic! (Insert maniacal laughter here)

Location, Location, Location

Okay, so first off - sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I haven't been on, for the most part, because I'VE BEEN WORKING, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! HAVE YOU SEEN MY NIGHTMARE NETWORTH?? THEY'LL TAKE EVERYTHING I HAVE IF I STOP WORKING!! FORECLOSE ON MY HOUSE! AUCTION OFF MY SHOES!! IF I STOP WORKING, THE TERRORISTS WIN!!!!!!Seriously, y'all have to tell me how you find the time to do all this blogging stuff on top of working. Do you sleep?

Anyway, the other reason I hadn't been posting was because it didn't seem like a whole lot of people were seeing my blog (I know - it's new, it takes time, yada yada - Sorry, but I'm an instant gratification type of guy) and, as a result, I felt like I was talking to myself. Heck, not even talking - I was typing to myself, which seemed patently ridiculous (I mean, should I text myself next? Find myself on E-Harmony?) So, I went away, to work...and to mope.

However, upon my return I find that over 60 of you have come to my palace of public financial humiliation and bloodletting, and to you I say, Welcome! Some have made the journey from as far away as Canada (the only foreign country I've ever been to, although it really doesn't count because it's kind of attached - Private Benjamin) and to you I say, How's that universal healthcare thing working for ya? Is it nice where you are? Would I enjoy living in the land of unusual bacon and Mounties?

Yes, dear reader, we have finally arrived at The Point Of This Post. I live in New York. New York City proclaims that it is The Greatest City In The World, which is fine, I guess. NYC has a slightly inflated ego? - we'll let that slide; kinda like we do with Paris Hilton. Neither NYC nor Ms. Hilton are half as great as they think they are, neither of them has done anything really spectacular in quite some time, if ever, and most of their current noteriety is more for negative things than positive. Still, we can let them have their little fantasies that they are the greatest.

However, when New York's inflated ego reflects on my budget in the form of ridiculously high property and school taxes - well, it's time for a reality check. I pay way too much for way too little and I'm tired of it. I'm thinking that it's time to pack my bags and find a cheaper place to exist. So I'm asking all of you out there; Would I like living in your town more? Would it be cheaper? Nicer? Friendlier? Better schools? Does your town have the best moccachino this side of the Mississippi?

This post is interactive, folks. And I'm serious. In fact, let's make it a contest - leave me a comment telling me why your town is The Place To Be. If, based upon your post, your town is selected as the winner, my family, my dog and I will move to your town and you can meet Debt Daddy in person! (I will shower for the event - that's how you know it's a realllly big deal). The winning poster will also receive a Free T-shirt! (not a new t-shirt, mind you - after all, I'm on a budget - it will probably be one of my old t-shirts that's a little too fugly to wear to work, but hey! It's a free t-shirt!!)

Wow, I can so feel the excitement flowing from you right now! Well, go ahead - don't let me keep you any longer - post your comments now! :)