What's the Square Root of Occam's Razor?

A few days ago, the lovely and talented Debt Mommy forwarded an e-mail to me that has apparently been making "quite the stir" on the Internet as of late. You may have already seen it, but here it is again anyway -


Hi Pals,

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up.. So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00. My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend. Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam. But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife team has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.

Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads

Put away money for college - it'll be there

Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.

Buy a new car - create jobs

Invest in the market - capital drives growth

Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves

Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And, of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces. If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ("vote buy") economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President. If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+! As for AIG - liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't. Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work." But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom? I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than do the geniuses at A IG or in Washington DC. And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.


Now, how did you feel reading that? I know when I read it, it definitely struck a chord (actually, several chords - I think they were the opening guitar chords to the U2 hit, "Desire", but I digress.) Who gets the money?? Yeah, that's right, Wall Street losers - WE get the money! Inspired! Brilliant! Fantastic!!

And, unfortunately - Wrong.

If you do the math correctly, as I'm sure some of you already have (I can see Figaro Jones with his calculator right now), you will find that 85 billion divided by 200 million equals $425, not the $425,000 that got the Debt Daddy all hot and bothered. So, the big windfall that the author of this post supposed just won't be blowing our way. The math was flawed; the plan won't work.

And yet, you just have to stop and wonder for a minute - was it really such a crazy idea? Trickle down economics just doesn't seem to be effective, because money, like water, will only trickle down if you allow it to. Those at the top have gone out of their way to ensure that most of the leaks in their giant money cistern have been properly patched and caulked, so very little money is actually trickling anywhere. Why not trickle Up economics instead? It's not my idea - google it and you'll find many proponents of the theory. Give money to those that need it and guess what? They spend it. Give money to those that don't need it and guess what? They don't spend it. Not in the percentages that we need them to anyway.

Now, there are those that say that trickle up economics is just a bunch of socialist hooey - a hand out to people that don't deserve it and they don't want to see their hard earned tax dollars going to support a bunch of bums and lowlifes that are probably going to blow that money like they've blown any money they've ever had previously.

Funny - those are my exact feelings about giving $700 Billion to Wall Street. I guess it's all about perspective. I'm a contractor. Many times, I'm called in to fix a mess made by someone else, so the last thing I'm going to do is repeat past mistakes. For the homeowner, that would be throwing good money after bad, as the government is about to do with the $700 billion welfare check. No; as a contractor, I look for the easiest solution that is also the most effective, which brings us to Mr. Occam (who was not, to my knowledge, a contractor, but I like the way he thinks anyway).

Occam's Razor is a theory that says essentially, "All other things being equal, the simplest solution is the best." I can think of no better simple solution to our current financial woes than simply giving US more money to spend. And here; I'll make it even simpler -


For one year, anyone making less than $150,000 a year doesn't have to pay taxes. No state, local, federal, sales, property, school, capital gains, sin or death tax for 365 days.

Crazy? Yeah, sure it is. What's not crazy at the moment? $700 billion to buy us more of the same, industrial chemicals in Chinese milk, Sarah Palin a potential heartbeat from the presidency - Hell, Crazy is the word of the day around here lately.

So Barney, Nancy, Benny, Henry - Think about my bailout plan, wouldja? I know it wouldn't solve everything, but it would sure make a lot of us a lot happier.

Later.