DebtDaddy’s take on the Four Hour Work Week

So, in my never ending search to increase income, I often engage the best and brightest financial minds in my direct circle of friends, run new ideas past them, and wait for them to tell me what’s wrong with my brilliant theories. The titular head of this finite brain trust is a man I will refer to (to protect his identity) from here on out (and ‘cause it makes me giggle a little bit) as “Fluffy”.

That’s something I never got – if you’re gonna change the names to protect the innocent, why not make them fun names? Can you imagine Dragnet’s Joe Friday busting a mugger named Zippy Cheesesphincter? He wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face. Joe Friday laughing – now that’s good tv.

So anyway, Fluffy and I are talking about this new book he’s been reading, “The Four Hour Work Week” by Tim Ferriss. He won’t tell me much about it, but Fluffy has that look in his eye that he only gets when he thinks he’s found a fool proof way to get paid for sitting at an outdoor café drinking soy lattes. Fluffy has years of experience in this position, and he’s dying to “go pro”. So, he’s got me curious enough to go home and Google “Four Hour Work Week”. I don’t find the entire book of course, but I find enough information to give me the basic idea, which seems to be “outsource all the administrative functions of your business to India, where the employees work harder and for less money”.

Hm.

Okay, I have a couple of problems with that. First off, I’m in home improvement which, from my understanding, is not a job that has a whole lot of international outsourcing opportunities built in to it. Even on the best paying jobs, flying a guy in from Bangalore to do my spackling seems a little silly.

My second problem is with outsourcing in general. Let’s take a bank, for example. Hells Cargo Bank, which used to employ thousands of American workers in their call centers, out sources their call centers to India. J. Crappy McMeatHead, the CEO of Hells Cargo, is overjoyed because he just saved the company a huge amount of money, for which they generously reward him with most of the money that the company just saved. J. Crappy McMeatHead’s daughter, Augusta, gets a pony for her birthday.

Meanwhile, Ms. Dusty Britches, former call center employee is now in the fight of her life to snag the last greeter position at Bob’s Big Boy, which she loses to Ms. Summer Luvvin (who had the unfair advantages of being the head cheerleader at the local girls reformatory school and who’s mother dated a dermatologist just long enough for Summer to get free radical collagen treatments, which got Biff, the Bob’s Big Boy day shift manager, a little bit tingly). So, temporarily without work, Dusty must rely on her Hells Cargo credit card to support her lifestyle. Before you know it, Dusty has maxed out her card and is now paying 25% interest on those Ramen noodles she bought last week. That 25% interest goes to buy J. Crappy McMeatHead’s second daughter, Ottumwa, a pony of her own.

So, the way I see it, if you’re a CEO, a worker in India, or a pony breeder, then yeah – this outsourcing thing is way cool.

It just doesn’t sit well with me. Four hour work week? At this point, I’ll pass.

I’ll let you know how Fluffy does.