And so it goes...

So, you remember the deck I was working on? The thing of beauty that had been driving me crazy for weeks? Well, I finished it a few days ago, and stopped by today to pick up the balance for the project. I had explained to them beforehand that, due to unforseen additional repairs, the cost would be about $1,000 more than we had originally discussed. They said they were okay with that and told me to come on by to get my grand.

Yeah well, they're not happy.

The wife can't seem to wrap her brain around the fact that, when new problems come up, the old estimate doesn't always apply. Seems simple enough -if you take your car to the shop to get new tires and, in the process of doing that, they find that your brake pads are shot and you need new ones - well then, that's gonna cost More, isn't it? She doesn't get that. So, instead of understanding the logic behind the new price, she's nitpicking about every little thing, including things that I've already explained to her twice before and including things that weren't exactly in the original job description. Any little thing to justify the fact that they really don't want to pay the extra money and that the estimate should be the exact cost of the job - no ifs, ands or buts.

Well, I stayed there for about an hour and tried to fix the things that they had issue with. But the longer I stayed there, the worse I started to feel. I had felt very proud of this deck. I had even taken pictures of it and was planning on posting them here. I take my work personally - it's a part of me - a reflection of who I am. But I've seen this before, and I realized that, no matter what I did, they weren't going to be happy. My beautiful deck was their overpriced piece of shit. And nothing I could do, short of rebuilding the railings and stairs for free, was going to change that opinion. I was nothing more than an opportunist to them - a fly by night scam artist that was trying to sell them a $5,000 piece of crap.

So I left. I did my best, and my best sucked. The more I think about it, the worse I feel. It's not even the money at this point - they can keep their damned money. It's the fact that I busted my ass on this job, but they couldn't see all the good work; all they could see were the minute flaws. No matter what was said, the look in this woman's eyes said, "You failed us and now you're trying to rob us as well".

I don't need that. It hurts. Do I take my job too personally? Yeah, I suppose I do. Maybe I should do what other contractors do - over estimate the job by 50%, overcharge for all my supplies, do the bare minimum to get paid and not give a flying doughnut about what anyone thinks. Problem is, I've been on the other side, and I've hated it when contractors have done that to me, so I try to do better - to be better than that. Fat lot of good that's done me.

Times like this, I just want to chuck the whole business - times like this I just want to crawl into a deep hole someplace. I feel like a complete and utter disappointment - to these clients, to my family (whom I am supposed to provide for), to myself - to everyone.

Unfortunately, crawling into a hole is not an option. Gotta keep going - gotta keep paying the bills, keep working through the continuous pain in my gut, keep breathing in and out, keep one step ahead of just about Everything.

And so it goes...