Hey. I’m Debt Daddy. I actually think I qualify as King of Debt, but there’s someone else with that name already and I’m not about stepping on toes. Yet…I’ve seen his debt numbers, and I’ve gotta say he’s like the Duke of Debt next to me and my big old hairy beast of burden. Wait, I’m looking again….make that Squire of debt.
Believe me, if you saw my debt figures, you would proclaim me undisputed King in a heartbeat (I’m not going to share my numbers at this juncture - after all, we’ve only just met), but that’s really not the point, is it? I’m not here to be the biggest or the baddest (or the Stupidest, I guess, for having so much darned debt) - what I am here for is to figure a way out of it and I’m guessing that you are too if you’re reading this (then again, maybe you’re here because you find Dads in debt incredibly sexy, and who am I to disagree with you? A guy with kids, crushing debt…what’s not to love? Hell, just make me morbidly obese and driving a ‘78 Nova and I’d be nearly perfect.)
So, if you’re in debt too, what’s working for you? To get out I mean - heck, I know a million ways to get INTO debt! I don’t need help with that! Geez. Wait. Sorry…before I ask you what’s working, let me just clue you in on the things that I refuse to do to get out of debt:
Debt Consolidation
Debt Counseling
Selling my primary residence (unless you have a lovely free house that you’re not currently using, perhaps on the beach?)
Selling my car
Aside from that, I’m pretty open. I’ve stopped using the credit cards (I have many, and they’ve all been misbehaving terribly lately, so I’ve locked them in a small, dark place until they can learn some freaking respect) and I’m trying to maximize income while minimizing unnecessary expenses. I’ve become my father when it comes to turning out lights around the house, we don’t eat out, we get videos from the library instead of Netflix, I’ve tried to minimize the frequency and length of my showers (I know - you’re hot for me all over again, aren’t you - I just keep getting sexier and sexier, don’t I?) - in short, I’m funnelling every available cent to the credit cards and yet, it seems to be making only the smallest of dents in my debt reduction.
So, I’m trying to think outside the box. Finding Dave Ramsey was a Godsend, but I need more. Debt snowball - cool. Debt Snow Plow is what I hope to find.
Anyone know where i can find a plow? Let me know.
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5 comments:
Dude- is this who I think it is? Do you do a mean drunken scottsman at social events?
Dude -
Deep down, aren't we all mean drunken scottsmen?
Seriously though, there are a number of Scotts in my family tree - that and a Dutchman or two - of course, all of it is overwhelmingly influenced by the Danish branch.
Thanks for your odd interest in my geneology. ;)
Clever.
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